Testicle Joke

Joe was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered
by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started
to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one
specialist to another, he finally came across an old country
doctor who solved the problem.

"The good news is that I can cure your headaches ...
The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very
rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against
the base of your spine, and the pressure creates a terrible
headache. The only way to relieve the condition is to remove
your testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered whether he
had anything to live for.  He couldn't even concentrate long
enough to answer his own question, but decided he had no
choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital after the surgery he was without a
headache for the first time in 20 years, but he also felt
like he was missing an important part of himself. As he
walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a
different person. He could make a new beginning and live
a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought: "That's what I
need ... a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new
suit", and picked one out.

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ...
size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the suit and
it fit him perfectly.

As Joe admired himself, the salesman said,
"How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe, and said, "34 sleeve and a
16 1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman
said, "How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet, and said,
"Let's see 9-1/2 E."

Joe was astonished, "How did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked
comfortably around the shop and the salesman said,
"How about some new underwear?

"Joe thought for a second, and said, "Sure."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said,
"Let's see ... size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha. I got you! I've worn size 34 since I
was 18 years old.

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear size 34.
A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against your
spine and give you a hell of a headache."

LOL boobies

Yes, this is what I spent today doing.

your moms on teh intarwebs

Shot at 2007-06-29

Korea busts porn webmaster

Digital Chosunilbo (English Edition) : Daily News in English About Korea

Police have arrested the operator of a pornographic website with some 10,000 members who shared obscene pictures of their wives or girlfriends. Police also booked 53 members of the website who they say uploaded obscene pictures.

Police said the 39-year old webmaster opened a website in September 2005 and facilitated the sharing of video clips and pictures depicting nudity and sexual intercourse by 9,887 members. He is accused of collecting W27,000 (US$1=W938) (Which means he made slightly more than minimum wage! Yay Korea!) for a two-month membership from 857 paying members, netting him W85 million. Police said the images included “abnormal” practices such as partner swapping and threesomes. (Wow, every pornsite in the US would be busted.)

A police spokesman said the webmaster and nine other members engaged in these practices “between once and seven times” (So how many was it? Are you just guessing?) facilitated by the website. Police said three couples engaged in partner-swapping and watching each other have sex.

The vast majority of the 53 booked members were office workers, entrepreneurs and college students and aged between 30 and 40. Four were women, two housewives and a self-employed woman in their 30s, and one office worker in her 20s. Members reportedly told police that they joined the website out of curiosity and because their sex lives were “boring.” (Dude, everyone's sex life is boring. There are people out there having bdsm menage a tois while skydiving...but no one I know.)

Police found that the webmaster was already given a suspended sentence for operating the same website in March 2005 but reopened the site. (Dumbass. Couldn't you reopen it in a different country and change some things up so they couldn't find you?) He allegedly joined in the partner swapping on three occasions pretending he was a member. The Cyber Crime Investigation Division of the Seoul Metropolitan Police asked the Korea Information Security Commission to shut down the site.

The police spokesman said there was no legal basis for punishing unconventional sexual activities, “but if people pay for partner swapping it qualifies as commercial sex,” which is illegal. “Posting nude pictures of girlfriends without their consent is also a crime,” he added. (In other words, we don't like it so we're making up a law! What do you think this is a democracy or something?)

Elysium Fields

Peach

Pierced and tattoed Lilly

No Bra

Devilgirl video

Shot at 2007-06-25

Devilgirl video

Cameron Diaz offends Peruvians - The Superficial - www.thesuperficial.com

Cameron Diaz offends Peruvians - The Superficial - www.thesuperficial.com

Oh like it's hard. You get drunk and piss on Macchu Piccu one time!

Penis salesman busted.

adn.com | crime : St. Paul man faces prison, fine for selling seal oosiks:

A former president of the St. Paul Island Tribal Government who co-signed an agreement to protect northern fur seals pleaded guilty Tuesday to illegally selling seal oosiks to a Korean health store in Anchorage.

Michael Richard Zacharof, 49, was a signer on a National Marine Fisheries Service agreement in 2000 to help manage the depleted species.

"He was one of the folks who negotiated to help Alaskan Natives take advantage of an opportunity, but he turned around and did something illegal," said Andrea Steward, assistant U.S. Attorney. "It makes it especially offensive for those involved with the program."

Zacharof faces up to one year in prison and a $20,000 fine for violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act.

Oosiks are the penis bones of seals and walrus. Under the marine mammal act, Alaska Natives are allowed to harvest seals for subsistence and to create artworks and handicrafts for sale from other parts of the animals, including oosiks. But it is illegal for Natives to sell raw, unworked oosiks to non-Natives.

Prosecutors say Zacharof sold 100 raw oosiks to Lotte Health International, owned by Yong Taik Chung, in 2005.

Zacharof is expected to be sentenced this fall.

Chung was also charged with illegally buying, then reselling the oosiks for about $100 each. In May, he pleaded guilty to two felony charges. He also agreed to cooperate with authorities and testify against those who sold him the illegal wildlife products, said his lawyer Brent Cole on Tuesday.

Chung's store on Fourth Avenue, now called Lotte Market, was selling legal wildlife parts, such as reindeer antlers. But it was also selling illegal wildlife parts, like the seal parts and black bear gall bladders, prosecutors said.

Investigators first uncovered the illegal trade in 2004 and 2005, when they intercepted two packages of gall bladders and oosiks in Massachusetts and traced them back to Chung's business. From there, the seal parts were traced back to Zacharof.

The seal penis bones, also known as seal sticks, are considered aphrodisiacs, Steward said: "In this instance, I believe it was for Korean medicinal purposes. My understanding was that it's similar to a Viagra product."

The bear gall bladders are also used for medicinal purposes, she said.

Zacharof headed the seal hunt from which the parts were taken. And, as is traditional in his Native community of 500 in the Pribilof Islands, the meat was divided among community members, said his lawyer, assistant federal defender M.J. Haden.

She said the seals were taken for their meat and the oosiks would just have been thrown away if Zacharof hadn't sold them.

Chung is scheduled for sentencing in July.

"He's never had any problems in his life, hardly even a speeding ticket," said his attorney, Cole. "This has been a very difficult time for him."

Chung also agreed to a $15,000 fine and to take out a full-page ad in the local Korean newspaper to apologize to the community, Cole said.

The northern fur seal population has continued a marked decline this decade, federal biologists said earlier this year. Remote points of land in the Bering Sea are the breeding grounds for more than half the world's population.

WTVH.com: Local News - Attire Questioned at Carousel Mall

WTVH.com: Local News - Attire Questioned at Carousel Mall: "Jun 22, 2007 - She has pink hair, pink lips, and stands close to seven feet tall in pink platform shoes.

She also happens to be a man.

Amanda realizes her appearance is out of the ordinary, but says it's no excuse for being kicked-out of Carousel Mall.

'I have never been harrassed,' she said, 'except by the mall security.'

Several weeks ago, a security officer asked that she not return to the premises wearing a wig and heels, Amanda said. He did not specify why.

The posted dress code states, 'The wearing of apparel which is likely to provoke a disturbance or embroil other groups or the general public in open conflict is prohibited.'

Carousel/DestiNY spokesman David Aitken would not say whether Amanda's appearance violated that policy, but noted that the security officer's actions were prompted by several complaints. He would not elaborate any further.

Amanda said she has repeatedly sought clarification from mall management, but no one has returned her phone calls.

She said, until then, she will continue to shop 'at her own risk.'"

Porn Star Sent To Jail (from The Argus)

Porn Star Sent To Jail (from The Argus)

With a university degree, striking looks and an ambition to work with disadvantaged children, Melissa Walker appeared to have a bright future.

But yesterday the glamorous blonde was put behind bars as her descent from model student to one of Britain's top porn film stars was revealed for the first time.

In an incredible tale of greed, lust and drugs, Walker, 26, was jailed for two and half years for plunging an ornamental dagger into the chest of her lover.

Sporting an expensive designer trouser suit, fake tan and false eyelashes, she looked stunned as a jury found her guilty of the vicious attack at her flat in Hove.

She was led to the cells in handcuffs after Judge Richard Brown at Lewes Crown Court said she had shown no remorse.

After she was sentenced it emerged that Walker earned thousands of pounds as one of the country's most prolific porn stars, featuring in more than 90 blue movies.

advertisement

It was the second time she had stood trial for the stabbing, after which her boyfriend Matthew Quant had to be revived three times.

At a previous trial at Brighton Crown Court last November the jury was discharged after failing to reach a verdict.

But at the end of the sevenday second trial the jury unanimously found her guilty.

The jury heard Walker plunged the blade into Mr Quant without warning during a row fuelled by drink and cocaine.

Mr Quant, a scaffolder, from Bevendean, Brighton, told the court she had an "evil look" on her face as she jumped out from behind a door and stabbed him at her flat in Denmark Villas, Hove, on November 19, 2005.

He said on the night of the stabbing a row started because they lost the last of their cocaine, worth £250.

He said she became hysterical and was screaming and shouting as she searched the flat. He was trying to calm her down but when he went to the toilet she hid behind the living room door and jumped out and stabbed him without warning.

Immediately after the attack Mr Quant collapsed and Walker rang the police to get help.

Walker, who grew up in a respectable family, was a bright child who started school a year early and went on to take her GCSEs and A-levels early too.

She studied sociology at a university in London and moved to Hove after she graduated. She had planned to become a youth worker and attended a post graduate course at a college in Canterbury.

But Walker was struggling financially and started working as a stripper. Soon, it became her full-time occupation.

On the night of the attack, she said they had rowed because he wouldn't help her with the bedclothes and he then became violent, so she grabbed the knife, which was on the floor because she was in the process of packing to move out, and jabbed him in self-defence.

She said: "I was being punched repeatedly in the back of my head. I was really scared.

I needed to do something to get him off me."

Judge Brown said: "People who are fuelled up with cocaine and alcohol tend to act violently.

The victim came pretty close to death. She has shown no remorse."

Mr Quant was not in court to see the jury return their verdict.

Walker's parents sat in the public gallery weeping openly as their daughter was led from the dock to the cells.

Light at the end of the tunnel - Washington Blade

Light at the end of the tunnel - Washington Blade

Hey Woody!

I’m a butt freak. I love to “toss salad” and get my own lettuce flipped. I want my sphincter in porn-quality shape — the pinkest pink possible.

Have you heard of anal bleaching? I want to get it done, but where? It’s not the kind of thing salons advertise. Also, is it possible to do it yourself?

Clorox clean

Dear Clorox,

You’re out of luck. There are only two salons I know of that do it — one in Australia and one in Los Angeles called Pink Cheeks, which has a sign hanging on the wall that says, “No whining.”

Funny, I have the same sign hanging over my bed.

Here’s how the backdoor beauty regimen works: You clear any hair, then apply bleaching creams with the active ingredients used in photo processing and rubber manufacturing.

Ahh, smearing toxic chemicals on my ass — now there’s a procedure I don’t get nearly enough of.

Anyway, you then use the cream each night until you achieve the desired lightness. Professional butt-bleachers claim results in one to two weeks.

I’m strongly opposed to anal bleaching. First, who’s going to know? How many people are going to look at your starfish with enough light to tell the difference? Are you expecting guys to say, “You know, there’s something different about you, but I can’t put my finger on it?”

Second, and more importantly, medical experts believe the active ingredients in bleach creams are toxic. Basically, you’d be rubbing flammable chemicals on a very sensitive area.

If you’re going to pursue a perfect shade no matter what I say, then at least look for creams that don’t have hydroquinone or mercury.

There’s only one bleaching cream with non-toxic, natural ingredients. And no, I’m not going to tell you what it is because I don’t want the results on my hands.

Wait. That didn’t come out right.

Anyway, shaving may not get your nether region in porn-quality shape, but it’s a whole lot safer. It heightens sensations and improves sanitation. So lose the hair. You have two options:

Depilatory Creams:

Use only the ones marked “for sensitive areas.” Remember, products like Nair are c-h-e-m-i-c-a-l-s. If there’s no hair left to dissolve because you left it on too long, it’ll start dissolving your skin. So, if it says “leave on for two or three minutes,” stare at the stopwatch and end it at the suggested time.

Shaving:

Do not use an electric shaver. I shouldn’t have to say it, but I’ve learned to never under-estimate stupidity: Do not wax the hair. Your screams will shatter all the windows in the house.

For best results, follow the instructions in my column about shaving your balls. Here’s the short version: Cut the extra long hair with scissors, take a warm bath to open the pores, spread your legs and shave. Carefully. You don’t want the tub drain to look like the one in “Psycho.”

Doggy Style

Jokes: Guilty

Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day
to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world
problems. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think
much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really
got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at
the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable
to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last
of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and
behold! --there sat Bill!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world
happened to you?"

Bill replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?"

"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and,
at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court,
I pleaded 'guilty'
and the judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

Driver to face punishment for kicking kissing girls off bus | KOMO-TV - Seattle, Washington | News

Driver to face punishment for kicking kissing girls off bus | KOMO-TV - Seattle, Washington | News

Maika Rich, left, and Jocelyn O'Neal are pictured in this file photo.

By WILLIAM McCALL Associated Press Writer

Watch the story

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - A transit agency chief apologized Wednesday to two lesbian teenagers who were kicked off a bus when a passenger complained about them kissing.

"Removing the girls from the bus was not consistent with our policy," said TriMet General Manager Fred Hansen. "I want to reiterate that we welcome all riders on our system."

The 64-year-old bus driver will face disciplinary action for removing the two 14-year-old girls during a June 8 incident aboard his bus, TriMet officials said. But no details about the discipline were released.

The driver, an 11-year veteran, violated several agency procedures and policies, officials said.

The girls said the driver called them "sickos" after a female passenger complained about their kiss. He then stopped the bus along the street and forced them off.

The actions by the girls did not warrant being removed from the bus, and TriMet policy requires operators to call for assistance before removing any minors, TriMet said in a statement released Wednesday.

"TriMet sincerely apologizes to the girls and their families for this incident," Hansen said in the statement.

The mother of one of the girls, Ronnda Zezula, welcomed the apology.

"The only thing I had a problem with is they didn't really address why the driver broke those policies," Zezula said. "He knew it was wrong. He's been a driver for 11 years."

She also said she wished the agency had made the extent of the disciplinary action public to show it will not "be just a slap on the wrist."

Zezula said the family has been encouraged to consider a lawsuit, but they will "have to mull it over."

Melissa Chernaik, spokeswoman for Basic Rights Oregon, said the gay rights group has been in contact with Zezula and "we share the same set of concerns."

But Chernaik said the chief concern was that the girls were put in an unsafe situation.

"The fact that they were possibly singled out because they were two girls is obviously problematic," Chernaik said. "But the big issue is that teenagers were put at risk and they should not be. Keeping kids safe is really the problem, and it sounds like TriMet is dealing with that, as they should be."

Sativa Rose

Topless in NYC

By KATHIANNE BONIELLO

Jill Coccaro was busted downtown when she bared her breasts." border="0" width="223">

Jill Coccaro was busted downtown when she bared her breasts.

June 17, 2007 -- Who knew it was legal for a woman to walk around with her breasts exposed in New York?

Well, one woman did - and a cop didn't - and now she has forced the city to fork over a $29,000 legal set tlement for ille gally busting her when she law fully bared her bosom and went for a stroll two years ago.

Jill Coc caro, a 27-year-old East Village artist who now goes by the name Phoenix Fee ley, went au na turel on Aug. 4, 2005, when she pulled down the front of her paint er's jumpsuit dur ing an art-show promotion to cool off.

In 1992 a state appeals court ruled that if men could expose their chests in public women could not be pun ished for doing the same.

In 2003, high-profile law yer Ron Kuby had used the law change to win a $10,000 settlement from the city for a model who'd been busted wearing a thong and body paint to the Coney Island Mer maid Parade.

But that didn't stop a cop, who spotted Fee ley at about 1:30 a.m. strolling topless on Delancey Street, telling her to cover up.

When Feeley refused - informing the officer she had a legal right to be naked to the waist, just like a man - the of ficer took her into cus tody for indecent exposure.

"I did not do anything to anyone on that street, I did not harm anyone," she recalled. "I was so not resisting arrest."

But Feeley spent 12 hours in custody before the officer told her the District Attorney's Office had declined to press charges.

While she was detained, Feeley claims, an officer yanked her from a patrol car by her hair, that she was taken to Bellevue Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation and that cops refused to help her repair her by-then badly ripped jumpsuit. "I was asking not to walk around in my underwear and they were not helping me with that," she said. "By the end of the night I walked out with my shirt off and my pants on."

"The thing the cop did not seem to understand, and what's so problematic, was that it was Phoenix who would decide what parts of her body would be exposed," said her attorney, Jeffrey Rothman.

The arrest came a day before her young daughter's birthday and caused Feeley to miss a Family Court appearance involving her ex-husband.

Feeley said she's gone bare-breasted before - after running the 2004 New York City marathon - without cops bothering her.

"I've always just felt that was something natural," Feeley said of baring her breasts. "I've kind of always done it out of practicality."

She sued the city and the arresting officers last October. The city agreed to settle, without admitting any fault, on June 4.

"I felt like I deserved it," Feeley said.

Does Rachael Ray have a third nipple?

Click on the thumbnail and look at the "mole" in her cleavage. I'm sure that's a third nipple. Oh, and the giant wheel necklace? I think that means she sold her soul to Aztec gods in exchange for fame and fortune.

Rochelle, NY

Horsefucker caught

.: Corvallis Gazette-Times: Community News:

A Corvallis teenager is facing charges of burglary and sexual abuse of an animal after being arrested last week at a barn in northeast Corvallis. The teenager, 17 at the time of his arrest, was arrested by Deputy Randy Hiner and Corvallis Police Officer Jason Harvey at the barn in the 4000 block of Northeast Minnesota Avenue at about 2:30 a.m. on June 7.

The owners of the property had reported assaults on the horse before, once on July 30, 2006, and again on Feb. 9 of this year. After the July incident, the owners noticed the halter of their mare had been moved. So the owners installed a video surveillance camera inside the barn.

In February 2007, the owners again noticed a halter and some food dishes had been moved in the barn. When they checked the video from the surveillance camera, they saw a male who they estimated being between 16 and 18 years old, sexually assaulting the horse. He wore a jacket and long pants and a baseball cap. They were not able to identify the suspect from the video.

Deputy Clay Stephens, who viewed the video, said the youth seemed very practiced, not hurried but not wasting any time. Stephens said he seemed to be following a “very concise, deliberate, well-thought-out plan.”

After the February incident, the owners installed a silent alarm on the barn. On June 7, at around 2:30 a.m., the alarm sounded in the house. The owners looked at the video monitor and saw the suspect preparing to assault the horse. They called the sheriff’s office. The suspect had gotten into the locked barn by squeezing behind one panel of a sliding door.

The suspect was charged with second degree burglary, a Class C felony, and sexual abuse of an animal, a Class A misdemeanor. He was taken to the Linn-Benton Detention Center where he was arraigned and released later the same day. His next court appearance is a hearing June 20.

Flynt says he has dirt on Congress under covers

Flynt says he has dirt on Congress under covers

"Hustler" publisher Larry Flynt -- just days after posting a $1 million bounty for verifiable information on the sexual exploits of U.S. Congress members and political leaders -- says he's already been deluged by more than 200 leads pouring in from around the country, "80 percent of them on Republicans."

"I'm not interested in exposing anyone's sex life," Flynt said in a telephone interview Wednesday. "It's the hypocrisy I'm after."

The California-based porn king, who heads up a profitable empire that includes the infamous skin mag Hustler and edgier publications such as Barely Legal -- as well as a thriving Hustler Club and casinos chain -- started a stir this week in political circles.

He posted a full-page ad in the Washington Post on Sunday that offered a cool $1 million for any "documented evidence of intimate relations with a Congressperson, Senator or other prominent officeholder," information that must be verified and published in Hustler.

In the run-up to the 2008 elections, Flynt's campaign to urge Americans to drop a dime on dallying politicians could get interesting because he's got a track record.

In 1998, he made a similar offer when former President Bill Clinton faced impeachment by outraged Republicans after the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

The result: GOP House Speaker-elect Bob Livingston resigned after Flynt prepared to go public with an informant's details of his illicit affair. Flynt also released an affidavit by the wife of then-GOP Rep. Bob Barr of Georgia -- an anti-abortion conservative -- in which she said her husband paid for her abortion and then took on a mistress.

"Everybody -- because I'm a civil libertarian -- thinks I'm going after Republicans. That's not true," he said.

Flynt said he expects "2 to 4 percent" of the leads to develop into solid publishable information and wouldn't name names; but he's looking into, among others, "a couple of (congressmen) who are gay and they're voting against every piece of legislation that would adversely affect gays."

Flynt's interest in politics is no passing fancy. He ran as a Republican for president against Ronald Reagan and more recently carried the banner as "the smut peddler who cares" as the Democratic candidate who came in seventh among the more than 100 hopefuls in the 2003 gubernatorial recall election in California -- a contest won by Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger.

These days, he says he has got no intentions to get into any race.

But Flynt weighed in this week on what he hailed as a "good idea," the trend of major porn stars endorsing U.S. presidential candidates. (For those keeping score: Jenna Jameson, star of "The New Devil in Miss Jones," has expressed her admiration for Hillary Rodham Clinton, and Savanna Samson of "Flasher" fame was quoted in the New York Post on Monday as going gaga for Rudy Giuliani.)

Flynt, subject of the popular biopic "The People vs. Larry Flynt," says he's fully prepared to be the focus of conservatives who will unload their criticism on him with his latest offer for political dirt.

Livingston, he recalled, publicly called him a "bottom-feeder."

Flynt's response: "Yeah, that's right -- and look what I've found when I got down there.' "

Joe Francis, ‘Girls Gone Wild’ Creator Sued – Bodog Beat

Joe Francis, ‘Girls Gone Wild’ Creator Sued – Bodog Beat: "After flashing for free clothes, Brooke Pastolic and Christina Brose are suing Joe Francis, creator of 'Girls Gone Wild'. (AP Images)



The lawsuits continue to mount for the doomed Joe Francis, who currently sits in a Nevada jail awaiting tax evasion charges. Two Florida women have sued Francis and his film company, claiming a sexually explicit video was released without their consent. Brooke Pastolic and Christina Brose claim in their suit filed this week that they were lured onto a 'Girls Gone Wild'’ tour bus with promises of free clothing.

Brose and Pastolic claim they were then coerced into taking part in sexual activities, and that the cameramen assured them the video would not be used. However, Pastolic and Brose have appeared on two separate 'Girls Gone Wild' DVDs.

The women also allege they were given alcoholic beverages on the bus even though they were minors at the time. Attorneys for Francis deny the allegations.

Want to bet on your least favorite celebrities? Get your celebrity odds in Bodog’s Sportsbook."

Teacher quits after alleged garter incident

Teacher quits after alleged garter incident

An English teacher from Western High School resigned Monday amid an investigation of an incident in which he allegedly removed a student's garter with his teeth during the prom, a school system spokeswoman said yesterday.

Lauren Roberts, public information officer with Jefferson County Public Schools, said Western Principal Louis Hughley Jr. had reassigned teacher Brett Coogle to non-instructional duties on May 17. Western's prom was May 11.

"Some kids were passing around prom pictures and a staff member saw a photo that raised some concern and showed it to the principal," Roberts said. "The photo allegedly showed him removing a candy garter with his teeth from a female student during the prom."

Coogle had been employed with the school system since 2001. He also was Western's volleyball and fast-pitch softball coach, according to the Kentucky High School Athletic Association.

Coogle, who was hired in Jefferson County as a teacher in September 2003, did not return calls to his home seeking comment.

Hughley also was unavailable for comment.

Wanda Bass said her granddaughter, who will be a senior this fall at Western, attended the prom and told her that Coogle was only "joking around."

"I don't think he meant any harm, but I still don't think he should have done that," Bass said.

"From what I understand, he was a well-liked teacher and coach. It's too bad that he lost his job over it."

Randy sniffer dogs get the sack | Oddly Enough | Reuters

Randy sniffer dogs get the sack | Oddly Enough | Reuters: "BANGKOK (Reuters) - Two Thai street mutts who became ace sniffer dogs at an airport near the notorious 'Golden Triangle' opium-producing region have been fired for urinating on luggage and sexually harassing female passengers.

The pair, Mok and Lai, had been plucked from obscurity under a program initiated by King Bhumibol Adulyadej to turn strays into police dogs, the Bangkok Post said on Sunday.

Although they won plaudits from police for their work in sniffing out drugs at northern Thailand's Chiang Rai airport, near the border with Laos and Myanmar, so many passengers complained about their behavior they had to be fired.

'He liked to pee on luggage while searching for drugs inside,' Mok's former handler, Police Lieutenant Colonel Jakapop Kamhon, said. 'He also liked to hold on to women's legs.'

'Both were just as good as foreign dogs trained for use in drug missions,' he added. 'But they were stray dogs, so their manners were worse than those of foreign breeds.'

Mok and Lai now work on a farm, herding chickens and pigs, the paper said."

Butts steals buttwipe

Times-Republican: "It’s not quite 25 to life, but stealing toilet paper from the Marshall County Courthouse could prove costly for one Marshall County resident.

A woman was discovered taking toilet paper from the courthouse Monday, according to police reports, something she has apparently been adept at doing for a quite a while.

No one could remember exactly when, but toilet paper started disappearing at “unusually high rates,” even for county employees, said a source close to the problem. In other words, something didn’t smell quite right.

It had long ago been suspected that the problem was more than just overactive bowels, but no one could quite prove it. That is, until the culprit was caught red-handed by authorities.

“A courthouse employee saw her walk from a storeroom carrying a bag of toilet paper,” said Marshalltown Police Chief Lon Walker.

The woman allegedly involved in the situation, Suzanne Marie Butts, has been referred to as the toilet paper bandit by some county employees.

Though she apparently has a concern for hygiene, she may find herself in a messy situation.

Because of prior convictions, Butts faces up to two years in prison — for three rolls of toilet paper. Despite what some may consider a harsh penalty, Supervisor Gordie Johnson was not sympathetic.
"

Ice Cream Man Accused Of Indecent

Ice Cream Man Accused Of Indecent Exposure - News Story - KOCO Oklahoma City

OKLAHOMA CITY -- A man who delivered ice cream to people throughout a metro neighborhood has been arrested and accused of indecent exposure.

Siedro Gallegos was arrested after a woman said he exposed himself to her while he sold her ice cream.

Specifically, the woman told police that Gallegos raised his shirt, revealing that his zipper was undone and that he was wearing no underwear.

Neighbors said Gallegos is a regular on weekends near Southwest 51st Street and May Avenue.

As of Monday night, he was in custody on $2,000 bond, police said.

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The New Straits Times Online...

The New Straits Times Online...

KUALA LUMPUR: All she wanted was a shower after a long day. Instead, she discovered that she was fulfilling someone’s perverted desires.

The girl, a student of the International Islamic University Malaysia, was preparing to take a shower at her home in Sentul about 2.45pm on Saturday when she noticed a red flickering light coming from a black oval object near the overhead fluorescent light.

The 20-year-old did not think anything of it.

Later at 5pm, she was about to take another shower when the red flickering light from the black oval object caught her attention again.

Her curiosity aroused, the student climbed a ladder to take a closer look at the object.
Seeing that the red light was coming from inside the object, she decided to take it apart.

To her horror, she found a camera with recording capabilities.

The traumatised student told her neighbour, who alerted the local Rukun Tetangga, a source said.

"The student and several of her housemates then went with members of the Rukun Tetangga to the Sentul police headquarters, where she lodged a report."

According to the report, 19 students rented the four bedroom double-storey house in Taman Billion Mewah from a man, believed to be in his 30s, in October 2005.

The students, aged between 18 and 20, with some coming from Perak and Terengganu, are all studying at the IIUM.

The landlord, a paperer by profession, drops by the house once a month to collect the rent.

One of the students recalled that the landlord would spend 10 to 15 minutes in each of the three bathrooms in the house on each of his visits.

"He also gave us strange advice, like where to stand in the shower area while we are bathing and which angles to face," the student added.

The landlord apparently explained to the students that the bathroom doors would be damaged by water, hence the reason for telling them where to stand.

It is learnt that cameras were found in all the bathrooms.

Following the report, police went to the house later in the evening to set a trap for the landlord.

They had the students contact the landlord and ask him to drop by, ostensibly to repair a leaking pipe.

The man, who is married with two children and lives in Taman Greenwood, was nabbed on arrival and produced in the magistrate’s court in Jalan Duta yesterday.

He was remanded for eight days.

Sentul police chief ACP K. Kumaran confirmed the arrest.

Yesterday, the five students gave their statements to Sentul police.

They are praying that pictures of them in the nude and in various states of undress would not be circulated through mobile phones and the Internet.

"They are hoping that police will recover whatever pictures and videos which are in the suspect’s possession," the source said.

islandpacket.com | Husband writes profanities on wife; wife bites on husband

islandpacket.com | Husband writes profanities on wife; wife bites on husband: "A Bluffton woman who woke up to find profanities written on her arms, legs and back ended up in jail Thursday.

While she was asleep, her husband scrawled the words on her with an ink pen, according to a Beaufort County Sheriff's Office report.

Seeing the markings caused her to fly into a rage and start fighting with her husband. While the two wrestled, she bit her husband in the stomach and back, the report said.

She admitted to police that she bit her husband twice and threatened him with a wooden board, the report says.

The woman was released Friday, according to the jail's online log.

The following reports were filed between June 6 and 9 at the Beaufort County Sheriff's Office on Hilton Head Island:"

Woman: Store Used Me As 'Upskirt' Bait

Woman: Store Used Me As 'Upskirt' Bait

WATERTOWN, N.Y. (AP) - A woman who claims she was used as unknowing bait to catch a man taking photographs up women's skirts is suing retailer T.J. Maxx. Svetlana Van Buren said store personnel surreptitiously videotaped a man taking photos up her skirt while she was shopping for coffee at the company's store in Watertown on June 14, 2006.

It was only after the man committed the crime that store personnel told her the photos had been taken and that the act was caught on tape, said Van Buren, a psychologist who was working at a state-run facility for youths at the time and now lives in Omaha, Neb. The lawsuit was filed Wednesday in the Jefferson County Clerk's office.

Officials at TJX Companies, Inc., of Framingham, Mass., which operates the T.J. Maxx chain, were not immediately available for comment.

The lawsuit contends that the store and law enforcement officials knew the man "secretly stalked" female customers for the purpose of taking upskirt photos, but did nothing to prevent it from happening to Van Buren.

T.J. Maxx should have used either a private female detective, a policewoman or a female employee who consented to being photographed to set a trap for the man, the lawsuit said.

Van Buren claims the incident has caused her physical and psychological pain, suffering and loss of enjoyment of life. She said she has experienced sleeplessness, anxiety, depression and feelings of stress and violation, prompting her to seek professional help.

She blames T.J. Maxx for, among other things, making her the victim of a crime without her consent and violating her privacy rights. She claims the store failed to provide her with a safe environment and failed to stop a crime from being committed against her when it could have.

Her suit does not specify an amount in damages being sought.

The lawsuit does not name Jeremiah Williams, a Watertown man who was arrested outside T.J. Maxx the same day Van Buren was photographed. Williams was sentenced in February to two to four years in state prison for second-degree unlawful surveillance. Police accused Williams of taking more than 700 upskirt photos of women in public places with plans to start an Internet business with the shots.