Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Unused Instrument

Hair remover [rec.humor.funny]: "A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'

'Of course. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair remover that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father.' Next!"

Convicted Killer Seeks Sex Change

Chron.com | Convicted Mass. Killer Seeks Sex Change: "BOSTON — A man serving a life sentence for murdering his wife is asking a federal judge to order the state to pay for a sex-change operation, arguing that denying him the surgery amounts to cruel and unusual punishment.

A psychiatrist testified Tuesday that he believes Robert Kosilek _ who now goes by Michelle _ will commit suicide if state corrections officials refuse to allow the surgery and Kosilek is unable to complete the transformation into a woman."

Big Clit

Savage Love - May 31, 2006 | The A.V. Club: "I'm a straight woman who hasn't had sex in five years. Why? Because every time I get close to a guy, he's shocked by the large size of my clit. I get 'What is that down there?' 'It looks like a mini-penis,' and 'I wasn't sure what to think—guy or girl.' Is there anything I can do? Surgery? I live in Canada, so I'm hoping our health-care system thinks this is as emotionally distressing as I do. Please help. I just want to have sex again and feel normal.
Big Clit"

Series Finale Of Will & Grace Ends Eight-Year Truce Between Gay, Straight Communities | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Series Finale Of Will & Grace Ends Eight-Year Truce Between Gay, Straight Communities | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "LOS ANGELES—Widespread violence and riots have broken out across the U.S. since the May 18 airing of the last episode of Will & Grace, the NBC sitcom hailed as the lone common bond between American gays and straights. Relations between the two sides have returned to the hostility that marked the tumultuous period before the show ushered in a tenuous truce eight years ago.

In the nearly two weeks since gay Will and straight Grace ended their televised domestic cohabitation, dozens of vigilante raids on gay bars and nightclubs have been reported, Provincetown, MA announced its secession from the U.S., while skirmishes have broken out at gay–straight border areas along New York's Chelsea neighborhood and the Castro district of San Francisco. And Monday, openly gay congressman Barney Frank was shot and killed on the steps of the Capitol.

'Straight men and women have reverted to their stereotypical view of gays, painting them as two-dimensional caricatures of either uptight, impeccably dressed neat-freaks, or shallow, flamboyant, sex-crazed maniacs,' said Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay And Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Russian Paris Hilton Starts Political Party

Telegraph | News | Party girl pawns her diamonds to go head to head with Putin: "As Russia grows more autocratic, the Kremlin has shown an increasing dislike for youth movements. It remembers how the young led street protests during the Orange Revolution that toppled Ukraine's pro-Moscow government in 2004.

At its launch Miss Sobchak was vague about the movement's intentions, only saying that she planned to teach young Russians 'how to be free'."

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Transsexual launches huge legal claim over sex change

Transsexual launches huge legal claim over sex change

A transsexual has launched the biggest ever legal claim to be brought over a sex change.

Jessica Bussert, formerly known as Josh, is seeking £500,000 from Hitachi Data Systems under the Sex Discrimination (Gender Reassignment) Regulations 1999.

She is also suing Hitachi in the US for $3.6m (£1.93m) damages over claims the company demoted her from her high-level IT job after she had facial and breast surgery.

The regulations apply to any employee who intends to undergo gender reassignment, is going through the process or has already done so.

Bussert relocated to the UK from the American Mid West because she thought the UK would be more accepting of transgender people. The move came after a 19-year-old transsexual was murdered and set on fire in Indiana near where Bussert came from.

After taking six weeks off for the facial feminisation and breast surgery in March 2005, Bussert claims he was effectively demoted because he had to report to a different person who had previously been hired as his equal and was given basic administrative tasks normally performed by secretaries. His salary remained the same at £88,000.

A spokeswoman for Hitachi UK said: "We don't think it's appropriate to comment, other than to say that we deny those allegations and will be defending them to the full extent."

British men prefer porn to sex

British men prefer porn to sex | The Register: "For those who missed it at the weekend - Britain is the world's fastest growing market for internet pornography. You should all be very ashamed.

British women are the fastest growing group of users with a 30 per cent increase on last year - up to 1.4m from just over one million last year. One in four men aged between 25 and 49 has visited an adult site in the last month - about 2.5m people.

The survey comes from Neilsen Netratings and was commissioned by the Independent on Sunday - more details here.

But not everyone is impressed.

Agencies like Relate report that 40 per cent of couples asking for relationship help cite internet pornography as a contributory factor to their problems.

Phillip Hodson, of the British Association for Counselling and Pyschotherapy, told the Independent it was making 'sex-lazy men even sex-lazier'. He said: 'It used to be said that men neglected foreplay, but now they are neglecting sex.'

Airbags for your balls.

Yamaha's Crotch Safety Bag - Geekologie: "Yamaha Motors realizes that we're all completely terrified of getting hit in the groin. In order to help alleviate this fear, they've released information on the ASV-3, a prototype safety scooter equipped with a multi-chambered air bag that provides comfort and protection where you need it most. Not much is revealed from the article, but apparently this airbag opens from under the seat upon impact and provides a cushioned place for your head to strike. If Yamaha could somehow incorporate this technology into a simple pair of pants, we could reduce the devastating and hilarious football-to-groin injuries by over 80%!"

Batwoman Becomes a Lesbian

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Batwoman hero returns as lesbian

Comic book heroine Batwoman is to make a comeback as a "lipstick lesbian" who moonlights as a crime fighter, a DC Comics spokesman has confirmed.

Batwoman - real name Kathy Kane - will appear in 52, a year-long DC Comics publication that began this month.

In her latest incarnation, she is a rich socialite who has a romantic history with another 52 character, ex-police detective Renee Montoya.

52 will be published in the UK as a graphic novel by Titan Books in 2007.

The series is set in a world in which established superheroes like Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman no longer play a part.

Reinvention

The new-look Batwoman is just one of a wave of ethnically and sexually diverse characters entering the DC Comics universe.

Others include Mexican teenager Blue Beetle - who replaces the character's previous white incarnation - and the Great Ten, a government-sponsored team of Chinese superheroes.

Regular characters Firestorm and The Atom, meanwhile, have been reinvented as black and Asian heroes respectively.

The characters are part of a wider effort to broaden the make-up of comic-book creations in line with society as a whole.

Batwoman, who first appeared in July 1956, has not been seen since September 1979 when she was killed by the League of Assassins and the Bronze Tiger.

Dutch pedophiles to launch political party

IOL: Dutch paedophiles to launch political party: "Amsterdam - Dutch paedophiles are launching a political party to push for a cut in the legal age for sexual relations to 12 from 16 and the legalisation of child pornography and sex with animals.

The Charity, Freedom and Diversity (NVD) party said on its Website it would be officially registered on Wednesday, proclaiming: 'We are going to shake The Hague awake!'

The party said it wanted to cut the legal age for sexual relations to 12 and eventually scrap the limit altogether.

'A ban just makes children curious,' Ad van den Berg, one of the party's founders, told the Algemeen Dagblad (AD) newspaper.


'We want to make paedophilia the subject of discussion,' he said, adding that the subject had been a taboo since the 1996 Marc Dutroux child abuse scandal in neighbouring Belgium. 'We have been hushed up. The only way is through parliament.'"

Naked Green Giant

Garden of Dreams : A garden show piece entitled the 4Head Garden of Dreams by designers Marney Hall and Heather Yarrow is on display on the preview day for the annual flower show, in London. (AFP/Carl De Souza)

Monday, May 29, 2006

Extremly Big Tits!

EXTREME NATURALS.COM


Sexual Desire is in Your Genes

LiveScience.com - Study: Sexual Desire is in Your Genes: "

Your sexual desire or lack thereof could be in your genes, scientists announced today. The discovery might change how psychologists view sexuality.

The researchers found that individual differences in human sexual desire can be attributed to genetic variations. The study is the first to provide data to show that common variations in the sequence of DNA impact on sexual desire, arousal and function, the researchers said.

The scientists, at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, examined the DNA of 148 healthy male and female university students and compared the results with questionnaires asking for the students' self-descriptions of their sexual desire, arousal and sexual function. They found a correlation between variants in a gene called the D4 receptor and the students' self-reports on sexuality.

The results suggest that low sexual desire might be a normal biological condition rather than a psychological problem, the researchers say. Further, it might be possible to develop drugs to alter sexual desire based on the new findings.

The research was led by Richard Ebstein and was published in the online version of the journal Molecular Psychiatry."

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Marie Osmond Shocked By Internet Sex Talk

Marie Osmond - Marie Osmond Shocked By Internet Sex Talk: "Marie Osmond Shocked By Daughters' Internet Sex Talk

Pop star-turned-doll maker Marie Osmond has launched a personal crusade to clean up the Internet after learning her two teenage daughters have been posting sexually explicit correspondence on their MySpace.com websites.

The Paper Roses singer felt compelled to give a statement to US tabloid National Enquirer after the publication uncovered outrageous content on her daughters Jessica and Rachael's blogs.

On her site, 18-year-old Jessica, who was adopted by Osmond as an infant, claims she is a bi-sexual who craves sex 'as many times as possible,' while her 16-year-old sister describes herself as a 'slut' and a 'whore' in correspondence and opened up about her dreams of having sex with David Bowie.

In her statement, shocked Marie, a devout Mormon, says, 'I am saddened by some of the choices that two of our children have made.

'The insidious potential for harm from adolescent Internet sites like MySpace.com only exacerbates these kinds of problems.

'If my being a celebrity figure is good for anything, let it be as a voice of warning to other parents that no matter how protective we think we may have been with our children in the past, we need to become more knowledgeable and even more vigilant now in order to protect them.'"

Ceiling Cat

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Nude Sherpa 'defiled' Everest to set record

Telegraph | News | Nude Sherpa 'defiled' Everest to set record: "A Sherpa's claim to have stood naked on the summit of Everest sparked controversy yesterday as fellow Sherpas denounced defilement of a mountain they regard as holy.

Lakpa Tharke Sherpa, 24, hopes to claim a record after shedding his thermals and standing for three minutes on the 29,000ft summit.

Ang Tshering Sherpa, president of the Nepal Mountaineering Association, said: 'I am too shocked to hear that a climbing Sherpa has crossed the thin red line just to set a new record. Mount Everest, also known as Chomolungma, is a holy mountain for us. What he has done is extremely shameful for the country.'"

Friday, May 26, 2006

Artificial Penis Grown in Rabbits!

FOXNews.com - Scientists Grow Artificial Penis in Lab - Health News | Current Health News | Medical News

It's now possible to replace a defective, damaged, or diseased penis with a penis grown in a laboratory -- in rabbits.

But the finding promises an amazing new treatment for infants, boys, and men who suffer penis disfigurement. The replacement organ would be grown on a penis-shaped matrix seeded with cells from the patient's own body.

Researcher Anthony Atala, MD, director of the Institute for Regenerative Medicine at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, reported the findings at this week’s annual meeting of the American Urological Association in Atlanta.

"Our goal is eventually to treat infants and adults with birth defects, penis trauma, or penis cancer," Atala tells WebMD. "But this is a future goal. We are now deciding which animal model to explore next."

While human trials are still far off, the Atala team's recent accomplishments make their goal highly credible. Atala and colleagues recently reported successfully using much the same technique to replace defective bladders in human children with spina bifida.

In the rabbit study, Atala's team removed the penises from rabbits and entirely replaced the organs with penises grown from the animal's own cells.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Cops Solve Case of the Used Dildo

Couple caught with stolen sex toy, police say: "A couple caught on video stealing marital aids from a local adult toy shop made a big mistake in returning to the store, Decatur police said Monday.

When Larry and Ashley Gargis of Hillsboro walked into Pleasures on Thursday, the clerk recognized them and called police, said Lt. Chris Mathews, a police spokesman.

The couple allegedly had visited the store May 8, stealing enhancement pills and a 'king size' rubber sex toy resembling a part of the male anatomy, Mathews said.

In the Gargis' vehicle, in a leather bag next to the child seat carrying the couple's 3-year-old daughter, a detective said he found the lifelike, 9-inch toy stolen three weeks earlier.

The $50 device was no longer in its package, said Detective George Silvestri.

'Well, we kind of recovered the stolen property,' said

Mathews. 'But basically, the store manager declined taking it back.'"

And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for them meddling kids.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Toe Licker at Wal-Mart

Police in Tulsa, Okla., are searching for a man who hid under a woman's car at a Wal-Mart parking lot and then licked her toes as she loaded groceries into the vehicle, according to a report.



The woman said she was at the Tulsa Wal-Mart located near 81st Street and Lewis when she felt her toes being licked.

She assumed it was a dog but when she looked down, she saw it was a man lying under her vehicle.

"I felt something lick my foot," the woman said. "I looked at him and I said, 'What in the hell are you doing?' And that's exactly what I said, 'What are you doing?'"

The culprit got up and ran away before police arrived at the scene.

Galway Lesbians Loneliest in the world

Galway Independent: "Galway is the second loneliest city in Ireland in 2006 with Galway people typing the word �lonely� into the Google search engine more than any other Irish city besides Dublin.

Last week, Google revealed that the word �lonely� is entered more frequently in Ireland than anywhere else.

And in 2006, Galway had the second most searches for �lonely�. Dublin was number one and Cork number three on the list.

While Dundalk had the most people searching for �love�, Galway ranked number seven on the list of cities where people are looking for �love.�

Portlaoise people search most for �sex� while folks in Castlebar most frequently type in �porn� on Google. However, Galway does not feature on the top ten Irish cities looking for either �sex� or �porn.�

But Galway came fourth on the list of Irish cities where people search for �lesbians.�"

Virus puts porn on you computer

Trojan variant points you at porn: AN INSECURITY outfit warns today of a variant of the StartPage Trojan that is "particularly vexing".

The Trojan creeps through Internet Explorer vulnerabilities and emails carrying .zip and .exe files. Advisors at MicroWorld Technologies, say the ‘BAT.StartPage.b’ changes Internet Explorer settings, adding porn links to your favourites and installs itself in the registry.

"Many times while trying to access Google or Yahoo, the Trojan redirects you to these [pornographhic] websites and other vexing ones," said Aneesh Paliwal, an insecurity analyst at MicroWorld Technologies.

"StartPage Trojan had been one of the most annoying and hard to remove Trojans right from its first variant," he added.

He says that alhough the StartPage Trojans may be detected by many anti-virus programs, most of them fail to remove the malware completely. After the cleaning process the Trojan "sprouts back in action" with new names and process IDs, says Microworld.

The new variant, StartPage.b, registers itself as an Internet Explorer component and modifies browser actions. This means the Trojan can also work as browser helpers and subsequently misdirect the user to malicious websites.

MicroWorld recommends a real-time, virus buster "so these sneaky breeds never find an entry in your computer in the first place."

Preferably, of course, the one it makes.

Don't ever let 'em put nothing on your food

PEORIA - Police are testing a mysterious brown powder that a Peoria man discovered his wife sprinkling on his food Sunday which he feared to be poison.

Bobby Irvin, 41, of 1813 N. North St. called police about 5:30 p.m. Sunday to report his wife, Rose Irvin, 46, is possibly poisoning him. He said he walked into the kitchen and spotted his wife sprinkling a powder on a sandwich that his mother had bought him earlier that day. He repeatedly asked her what the powder was, but she refused to say, reports said.

They briefly struggled, and he grabbed the baggie of powder from her and then called his parents for advice. They told him to call police.

Bobby Irvin told the responding officer that his wife had been acting deviously lately and they were going through a rough patch in their marriage.

Rose Irvin admitted to sprinkling the powder on both her and her husband's food and believes it to be a harmless mix of minerals, though she doesn't know exactly what it was. She said she bought the powder through the mail from a psychic doctor in Virginia to try to improve their marital problems. The doctor told her she couldn't tell her husband about the powder because if he knew it would not work.

Police took the powder as evidence and advised Bobby Irvin that if he felt unsafe he should prepare his own food and possibly find another place to live.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bad Jokes

The attractive young miss was about to go to bed with her
blind date when she burst into tears.

"I'm afraid you'll get the wrong idea about me," she said
between sobs. "I'm really not that kind of girl!"

"I believe you," her date said, as he tried to comfort her.

"You're the first one," she gulped.

"The first one to make love to you?" he asked.

"No, silly," she replied. "The first one to believe me..!"

===========================================

A minister, a priest and a rabbi were enjoying the serenity of
a country dipping pond.

Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and
jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a
few berries while enjoying their "freedom."

As they were crossing an open area, a group of very old ladies from
town approached them. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the
minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered
his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies left and the men got their clothes back on,
the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered
his face rather than his privates.

The rabbi replied...

"I don't know about you, but in MY congregation,
it's my FACE that they would recognize....."

I'm expecting an Avirl Lavigne Nipple Slip any day now

Yahoo! News Photo

Now that she's got boobies she's showing them off.


Monday, May 22, 2006

Premature Ejaculators the Bane of Kim Catrall's Existence

Kim Cattrall: 40 years of bad sex - Showbiz News - Life Style Extra

LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) - Kim Cattrall has confessed she was never "sexually fulfilled" until she was 40.

The 'Sex and the City' actress, 49, admits she didn't have great sex until she took on the role of maneater Samantha Jones in the hit show and married her now ex-husband Mark Levinson.

She revealed to Britain's Telegraph magazine: "Sexuality had been a very narrow experience. There was a lot

of fear connected to it. I kept thinking, it's just not the right man; it's just not the right relationship; it's just something that's not going to happen for me."

However, Kim's sex life improved dramatically when she married Mark in 1998.

She said: "There was a total chord change in an environment where I could really talk about my sexuality and felt free enough to experiment and play."

The former couple wrote the sex manual 'Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm' together, in which Kim revealed all her ex-lovers were flops in bed.

She wrote: "Premature ejaculators were the bane of my existence for most of my adult life."

Strange, that, I would have thought the bane of her existence would have been the movie Mannequin.

Women Don't Need A Period

Menstruation Is Fast Becoming Optional - Yahoo! News: "TRENTON, N.J. - For young women with a world of choices, even that monthly curse, the menstrual period, is optional.


Thanks to birth control pills and other hormonal contraceptives, a growing number of women are taking the path chosen by 22-year-old Stephanie Sardinha.

She hasn't had a period since she was 17.

'It's really one of the best things I've ever done,' she says.

A college student and retail worker in Lisbon Falls, Maine, Sardinha uses Nuvaring, a vaginal contraceptive ring. After the hormones run out in three weeks, she replaces the ring right away instead of following instructions to leave the ring out for a week to allow bleeding. She says it has been great for her marriage, preventing monthly crankiness and improving her sex life.

'I would never go back,' said Sardinha, who got the idea from her aunt, a nurse practitioner.

Using the pill or other contraceptives to block periods is becoming more popular, particularly among young women and those entering menopause, doctors say.

'I have a ton of young girls in college who are doing this,' says Dr. Mindy Wiser-Estin, a gynecologist in Little Silver, N.J., who did it herself for years. 'There's no reason you need a period.'"

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Former 'Naked Guy' Dies

Former 'Naked Guy' at UC-Berkeley Dies - Yahoo! News: "SAN JOSE, Calif. - The former college student known as the 'Naked Guy,' who gained notoriety in the early 1990s for attending class in the buff, has died in jail, authorities said.


Andrew Martinez, 33, whose stripped-down strolls at the University of California, Berkeley, got him expelled and prompted the city to adopt a strict anti-nudity ordinance, was found unconscious Thursday in a Santa Clara County jail, said jail spokesman Mark Cursi.

Officials are investigating the death as an apparent suicide.

He had been in custody since Jan. 10 on charges of battery and assault with a deadly weapon, authorities said.

In 1992, Martinez organized a 'Nude-In' protest at the university. He said he was trying to make a point about free expression.

The message caught on, and nude spottings spiked on campus. Martinez, who landed on national talk shows, was expelled the next year after the university banned nudity."

Woman Rips Off Her Husband's Balls With Bare Hands

WITH THEIR wedding anniversary less than two weeks away, Howard Randolph was thinking romance. He hoped to take his wife, Monica, out for an intimate dinner and maybe an oldies-but-goodies show to celebrate 11 years of matrimony.

But yesterday, his mind was more on divorce and jail for his wife after she almost became Philadelphia's own Lorena Bobbitt.

Monica Randolph didn't need a kitchen knife. She took matters into her own hands.

The Nicetown man said he had been sleeping peacefully in the couple's bed Tuesday night when his wife pounced on him without warning, grabbed his groin, dug her manicured fingernails in and flayed him, leaving his gore-slicked gonads dangling much lower than normal.

"She didn't use no weapon - this was just sheer brute strength and fingernails. She grabbed me by my [scrotum] and ripped it apart with her bare hands," Randolph said yesterday from his hospital bed at Albert Einstein Medical Center, where he was in stable condition with stitched and bandaged genitals.

Randolph, 52, said the 10:30 p.m. attack jolted him agonizingly awake, but his consciousness didn't faze his single-minded wife, who, he said, continued to yank on his privates.

"She would not let go; I had to hit her to get her off me. My hand's all swollen from hitting her," he said, adding that the attack ended only after he fled the house, locked her in and limped to a corner pay phone to call police.

A neighbor who heard the commotion also called police, who took Monica Randolph into custody and charged her with aggravated assault and related offenses.

Talk about a strict violation of the penal code.

Howard Randolph said his wife tore "everything out of the sac and all the skin away."

Just the thought triggers most men to hunch over and wince, but Randolph said he felt "fine" yesterday thanks to the morphine that doctors administered.

Monica Randolph told arresting officers that she had attacked her husband because he was cheating on her. But her husband denied having any affairs. He remains mystified as to his wife's motive and demanded that she receive a stiff punishment.

He didn't see the attack coming. He said he went to bed about 8 p.m. and hadn't argued with his wife.

"She'll probably blame her mental illness," he said. "She's bipolar, and she doesn't take her meds."

But he says this is the third time she's physically assaulted him, and he's had enough. In 2003, she threw a metal chair at him while he was recovering from heart surgery, he said.

The couple met 13 years ago in Mount Airy, he said. They have no children together, although he has three grown children from a previous marriage.

"I used to think the good times outweighed the bad times, but something like this, you can't get over," he said. "I'm going to prosecute."

The attack was harrowing for Randolph, he said, even though he's witnessed the worst in people as a Vietnam vet.

"Most of us veterans just want some peace in our lives," he said, adding that he served a year in Vietnam as a Navy firefighter on an aircraft carrier and remains on disability with post-traumatic stress disorder.

He hopes for a speedy recovery. Doctors told him he should regain full use of his genitals but could contract an infection from germs on his wife's fingernails, he said.

"It was an act of cowardice. I could see if it was done to a rapist, but not a husband who was just trying to get some sleep," he said. "I'm just stunned. Of all people, why would a woman do this to her husband?"

News of the genital mangling aroused a mixture of horrified gasps and guilty giggles in the Randolphs' neighborhood, where few knew the couple who had moved into the brick rowhouse on Pulaski Avenue near Bouvier Street in April.

Meanwhile, neighbors were left to speculate on explanations for the attack.

"She got to be crazy," said Dionne Martin, 18, who basked in the spring sunshine on friend Rochelle Odd's porch steps.

Odd, 21, agreed: "That woman was crazy, but I'm on her side. I don't think no guy deserves to have his balls ripped off. But she's got to be deep in love - that's what would make a woman do this. If they was together all those years and he cheated on her, she wanted him to feel what she was feeling. There's a lesson to be learned here: Don't cheat on your woman."

Parrot Joke

A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and
taken it to their room where, much to the groom's
annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their
love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the
cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't
quit it.

The next morning, packing to return home, the couple
couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling,
you get on top and I'll try."

That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the
lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no
success.

Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try."

At that point, the parrot yanked away the towel and said,
"Zoo or no zoo. This I gotta see!!"

Thai sex workers warned away from attending the World Cup

Thai sex workers warned away from attending the World Cup: "Bangkok - Thai sex workers, eager to cash in on World Cup fever in Germany next month, have been warned that they will face many risks in pursuit of their goals, media reports said on Sunday.

Empower Foundation, a Thai sex workers' rights advocacy group, issued the warning to its members after learning that several working women from Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand, were planning to visit Germany next month under the impression it would be easier for them to get tourist visas during the World Cup match from June 9 to July 9.

'Although prostitution is legal in Germany, only Germans are allowed to work in the industry,' Portip Pakwai, an Empower spokeswoman, told The Nation newspaper.

She also warned members that Thai women often fall victim to local mafias when pursuing their trade in Germany, and advised them to always keep with them the telephone number of the Thai embassy and photocopies of their passports."

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Johnny Gosch, Jeff Gannon, Hunter Thompson and the unraveling of a troubling tale.

Johnny Gosch, Jeff Gannon, Hunter Thompson and the unraveling of a troubling tale.: "She didn't want to believe her child was kidnapped, sexually abused, tortured, brainwashed and sold into slavery, but she accepts this now as an indisputable truth. And she is not alone.

Many others accept the existence of a vast network of high-profile people - powerful politicians, business leaders, law enforcement and government agents - who exist in a subculture of degenerates who participate in child pornography, snuff films, drugs, devil worship, brainwashing and kidnapping. And Noreen believes that Johnny (and hundreds of other children like him) was forced into this life of depravity by those who kidnapped him.

But Johnny's story has been told thousands of times. It's been analyzed, disputed and ridiculed just as frequently, and we have neither the time and space, nor the inclination to repeat it here in full. As, tragic as it may be, it's old news. Nothing major has happened in the case for some time, and the alleged players in the story have been silent, absent or simply missing for years.

Until recently.

In the past few months there's been a flurry of activity among the people once related to his case and the conspiracy that surrounds it. And in the midst of this commotion, some believe Johnny Gosch has been found very much alive.

Recent events "

Harlem gay advocacy group protests sex party banning condom use -- Newsday.com

Harlem gay advocacy group protests sex party banning condom use -- Newsday.com: "NEW YORK -- The invitation arrived in Tokes Osubu's e-mail inbox on Monday, and the contents astounded him: Black and Latino men were being invited to attend a gay sex party this weekend where condoms would be banned. Show up with a condom, the invitation said, and you'll be asked to leave.

'I was shocked and disgusted,' said Osubu, executive director of Gay Men of African Descent, a Harlem-based nonprofit group battling the HIV/AIDS epidemic among black gay men. "

Gorean Slave Cult in England

Here's a page that describes the rules and duties of a slave.

by Jim Kouri - A sex-slave cult, based on 1960s science fiction novels, was discovered by police in Darlington, England. Police encountered the bizarre sect during the raid of a home in the area, after receiving reports that a woman was being held there against her will, according to British news reports.

But a spokesman for the police told the BBC that the Canadian was a willing participant and the other people involved were consenting adults.

The group, called Kaotians, follow the Chronicles of Gor novels which depict a society where women are dominated. The 29-year-old woman is said to have voluntarily joined the sect after finding out about it over the internet.

She later contacted a friend in United States, who then contacted the police, saying she wanted to leave but couldn't as she had burnt her passport and return ticket.

But a police spokesman told the BBC on camera that upon arriving at the premises they did not find any evidence of "criminal offenses."

Police also investigated claims by a father in Essex, England that his 18-year-old son had joined the cult. However police also found the teenager was a voluntary member and officers had no grounds to get involved.

Lee Thompson, 31, says he is the "master" who trains the slaves at the Darlington address. He said the women who act as slaves "do so by their own choice."

"We're just a group of people that live a different lifestyle, I mean there's nothing wrong with that," he told BBC News.

"We don't hurt anyone, we don't damage anyone, everyone's consensual."

Members of the group based their lives on "a dominant-submissive point of view," he said.

"It's one thing that everyone's missed out on so far is, even in our organization, if that's what you want to call it, women can be free and they can be dominant, we don't stop that," he added.

"But the majority of women in our organization are obviously slaves because women have a submissive streak in them."

Mr. Thompson says up to 350 followers regularly meet in pubs and clubs around the Northeast, in an area from Berwick to York.

Kaotians are a splinter group of the Goreans, which base their beliefs on novels written by American university professor John Norman.

The books are set on the quasi-medieval planet of Gor, which has a caste system and uses women as slaves. There are an estimated 25,000 Goreans worldwide.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Rhodesians Went Home Because of Dirty New Yorkers

Tinselman: Dreams of Fair Victoria: The falls-in-a-room was actually a scale replica but, at 22 feet high and 186 feet long, it was still a sight to behold. The Southern Rhodesian's were proud of this impressive attraction, as well they should have been! Most impressive was the 60,000 gallons of water a minute that plunged over the edge of the abyss.


Unfortunately, things didn't end so well for the falls... all because of the "depraved and obscene" activities going on at the attractions nearby like "The Congress of Beauty," "The Amazons" and "The Crystal Lassies."

The Southern Rhodesians got really really mad! The reputation of their great wonder was being sullied – lowered to the height of mere eroticism... "Where's Victoria?" the visitors began to ask, "We want her, we want to see the voluptuous but seductive Victoria... from Rhodesia!" That kind of thing made the Southern Rhodesians want to spit fire, and they had finally had it up to here. They removed their seal, lowered their flag, and wiped themselves clean of the New York World's Fair... and Victoria

XXX Lawsuit Proves Far Right Bias of US Gov't

Porn domain firm sues US government - Computer Business Review

ICM Registry LLC, the company behind the proposed .xxx internet porn domain, is to sue two departments of the US government for access to documents it claims show the US pressured ICANN into rejecting the domain.
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The Florida-based startup will sue the Department of Commerce and the Department of State to get them to release documents that they redacted when they responded to a Freedom Of Information Act request that ICM filed last year.

The suit is expected to allege that the documents released to ICM so far show that the US "exerted undue political influence on ICANN's consideration of the .xxx domain application", and that the redactions were unlawful under FOIA.

We've seen about 100 pages of these documents, most of them emails sent between staff at the National Telecommunications and Information Administration, a branch of Commerce.

The documents we've seen suggest that last summer the NTIA reversed its quiet tolerance of the .xxx application, which was on the way to approval, after lobbying from conservative groups, then set about trying to persuade foreign governments to back its position.

ICM claims the documents show that the US government "solicit[ed] foreign government intervention to achieve DoC's domestic political goals".

One of these goals, the documents suggest, was appeasing the Family Research Council and Focus On The Family, right-wing groups run by radio host James Dobson. Dobson was credited by some with winning the 2004 presidential election for Bush, by bringing out the anti-gay vote.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Masuimi Max pics

My first thought upon seeing this was, "Who's the carrot?"

My second thought was, "My god, I want to fuck a carrot!"



Actress and model Phoebe Price arrives for the screening of 'The Wind That Shakes the Barley,' at the 59th International film festival in Cannes, southern France, on Thursday, May 18, 2006. (AP Photo/Francois Mori)

Top Lesbian Sexual Fantasies

Top Lesbian Sexual Fantasies

Lesbians fantasize like everyone else. Sexual fantasy can be something you play out with your partner or just think about when you are alone with yourself. Some lesbians like to masturbate to their fantasies. Others like to act them out with a partner or several partners. Use these as a guide to get your sexual life stimulated. Here are a few of the top lesbian sexual fantasies.

1) One-Night Stands

You meet an attractive stranger in a dark bar and take her back to your place for some randy action. Or maybe you spy a cutie on the bus, you get off at her stop and you follow her down a secluded alley where you get busy without even asking her name.

2) Romantic

Is your fantasy for your lover to treat you like a queen? Does she rent a limo, take you to an expensive hotel where chocolates and rose petals are strewn about the room. Or perhaps you're in an exotic location swimming in the warm ocean and eating fruit off each other's bodies while the native birds serenade you with their beautiful song.Who hasn't noticed how cute delivery drivers are in their uniforms? Could she have something extra special in that package for you?

4) Group Sex/Orgy

Do you dream of a threesome? Having sex with a man and a woman at the same time? Attending a lesbian sex party? Many women (and men) share this sexual fantasy.

5) Celebrity Sex

Who is that one person you've wanted to sleep with ever since you first saw her? Kate Moennig? Melissa Etheridge? Ellen DeGeneres? Perhaps someone who isn't even a lesbian. Perhaps someone who isn't even a woman? Go ahead, fantasize all you want!

6) Exhibitionism

Want to put on a show for someone? Do you have a secret fantasy of becoming a pole dancer or strip artist? Go ahead! Do it for your lover. Or perhaps you dream of having sex where others are watching. Pretend you're making love on a beach and a crowd gathers to watch.

7) Dominance

Do you ever dream of having a lover on her knees ready to meet your every sexual need? She will do anything you ask of her. Perhaps she is begging you to take her. Maybe you fantasize about spanking your partner or tying her to the bed posts.

8) Submission

Women who fantasize about submission want someone else to take complete control. They fantasize about a lover who will put them in their place, run the show and maybe even use a little discipline.

9) Forbidden Sex

Is there someone you want who you just can't have? Your boss? Your sister-in-law? It may be wrong to sleep with her, but fantasizing can do no harm.

10) Gender Play

Ever fantasize that your partner is a man with a real live penis? Or that you have a penis you can whip out anytime you desire sex? This is a common lesbian fantasy.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Look what you can get on amazon besides books

Trade water for sex?

Ark. Mayor Accused in Sex-For-Water Case - Yahoo! News: "WALDRON, Ark. - Waldron's mayor was released on a signature bond Wednesday after being accused of soliciting two women for sex after they fell behind on their water bills.


Troy Anderson, 72, is accused of abusing the public trust and patronizing a prostitute. After hearing complaints about delinquent water bills, Anderson solicited sex from the women, aut