Women are dangerous

Woman as a dangerous substance

Index

Woman as a dangerous substance

ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

* Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
* Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
* May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
* Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in saturation of alcohol
* Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

* Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
* Can be a great aid to relaxation
* Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:

* Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
* Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen

HAZARDS:

* Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
* Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
Index

Woman as a dangerous substance

ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

* Surface usually covered in painted film
* Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
* Melts if given special treatment
* Bitter if incorrectly used
* Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
* Yields if pressure applied in correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

* Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
* Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
* May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
* Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in saturation of alcohol
* Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

* Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
* Can be a great aid to relaxation
* Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:

* Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
* Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen

HAZARDS:

* Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
* Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other