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Friday, June 24, 2005

I'm suddenly a Pirates fan

It seems that Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter for the Pirates in 1970 while tripping on LSD.

Some carreer highlights, "When baseball brass complained about his haircut, he wore hair curlers on the field. When a heckler called him nigger during a minor league game in Alabama, he entered the stands, sat among the hecklers and said, "What happened to all those niggers up here? All those niggers calling me nigger?" (In Ellis' version of the story, he also has a gun in his pocket.)"

And, "When the Cincinnati Reds taunted the Pirates after beating them in the 1972 National League Championship Series, Ellis decided to motivate his team by hitting every single batter in the Reds' lineup. He hit the first three and walked two before he was pulled."

Sometime in the fifth or sixth, he sensed someone next to him. Looking. He turned. It was rookie infielder Dave Cash.

"Dock," Cash said. "You've got a no-hitter going."

Cash, apparently unaware of the (insanely well-known) superstition that a pitcher never talks about a no-hitter until it's complete for fear of jinxing it, was immediately piled upon by several outraged teammates. Ellis, meanwhile, looked at the scoreboard.

Huh.

Yeah.

After the eighth, during which he'd watched outfielder Matty Alou snag an almost certain base hit, Ellis walked off the field and looked Cash straight in the eye.

"Still got my no-no!" Ellis declared.

The Braves never do fun stuff like that.

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: Name: Maxwell Hammer; Location: Alabama, United States

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Whats the deal with this site? I started it in 2002, about Feb, I think. I got laid off from a job I'd had for several years. so while I was on unemployment. I played around with selling shit on ebay and that lead me to porn sites. I'd had a friend who did it, this crazy Bangladeshi guy named K Rahman. So I played with it for awhile. It didn't really seem to work, but then I started to get checks from places I couldn't remember. Not big ones, just $35 or so here and there. At first it was mostly weird sex news. That sort of led to celebrity sex gossip. I would break news but a lot of the big blogs wouldn't link to me because of my porn ads. So I spun that off into another site, hateon.blogspot.com. But that never seemed to take off. I'd sometimes get a few thousand hits, but it didn't do as well as sxxxy.org. But the traffic on that started to lag. I had repurposed it as a just weird sex news. Stuff about people covering hotel rooms in vaseline and fucking them. So I sort of deprecated hate on, though it still exists. I'm combining these sites. Because I found out that traffic and links from Perez Hilton might be cool but they don't make me any money. So now I don't get as may hits but I get more money. Why do some of these pictures of pictures of Carmen Electra say they are of Charlize Theron? One of the categories got fucked up when I was creating the site. I could go through them one by one and fix it, but that sounds really boring and I've got a lot of other things I'm working on with the site. So it will get done, but it's pretty low on the list. Some of these pics are duplicates/labeled wrong/whatever. Why don't you do something about them? Some things like that are going to happen. If you send me the link to the picture maybe I'll fix it. Or maybe you could take some damn initiate and register with the site and email me your username and I might give you admin privileges so you can fix it yourself. Do you know you're kind of a dick? Yep. But I'm funny. If you're into that sort of thing. There are a lot of ads here and some of them do weird stuff to my browser. Can you fix it? Yes. There are a lot of ads here. I'm trying to make money. I don't like begging or taking donations. But this is a for profit site. I don't make that much, really, I swear. I have to have a day job. If they do really weird stuff to your browser or there's a trojan or something let me know and I'll take it down. Where do you live? Really? In Alabama. I don't want anyone to know who I actually am here, locally. Some of this shit I do is probably illegal here. Why don't you move? Do you want to give me a job and a place to live? I'm broke. This site isn't enough to live on. I also have a lot of child support. You have children? Yes. Let's leave it at that, there was a custody battle but they never found out about the site. Let's keep it that way. Why Maxwell Hammer? I was listening to a lot of the Beatles at the time. I could have been Rocky Raccon...but that's my brother's name. Really. Now that I think about it King Marigold sounds good. But it was started on a game called Urban Dead where I was a known Player killer and troll. They still think I'm still there and just some sort of hydra troll that causes trouble under different names, but I swear that I haven't been there in years. There were people who took up my name and started doing things in my name and calling themselves my army. It's weird. I'm still some sort of legend around there, just under different names. But it's not me, I swear. Why is this page or that thing formated wrong or looks weird? It's a matter of time vs caring. I'm just sort of naturally sloppy and often don't care about some things. I cut corners. I'm the kind of guy who uses duck tape to fix things. I'm doing this by myself. I sit in front of a computer for 40 hours a week and then come home and do it for about 5 hours every night and more than that on weekends. Why do you do that to yourself? I don't know. I don't feel like I'm doing enough, though. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all the shit like this that I want to. Plus I write so I'm compelled to do that at times. It's like all this is against my will but I can't stop myself.